Can You Describe This Feeling...

I’m so cold, numb, and descending to a place which I have known to fear,
A place with decaying flesh, and tormented cry’s my eyes could hear,
The smell, it is as if my body has been decomposing for years,
My words are un-heard, and I have no more tears,

This feeling it sneaks up on me,
As I bathe in visions from the past,
My black heart, held feelings that didn’t last,
My body feels heavy; my breathing is no longer steady,
For what comes next I’m not ready,

My eyes wonder and find their way to my wrist,
Blood is still dripping from the slit,
My lounges are collapsed so how can I still breathe,
Maybe because I search for what I still need,

Where am I, I ask myself over and over,
For I feel this feeling isn’t over,
As my thoughts cut through air,
I remember there was nothing there,
Nothing is here anymore just emptiness,

A black hole filled with rage, anger, lies and pity ness,
I’m hearing voices, voices in the back of my head,
Could I be…dead…?
Yes, Dead to the world, forced to roam the plains of curiosity,
What happened to me?

This isn’t how it used to be,
I enter a chamber, and moans of agony fill the room,
I smell death and impending doom,
I try to run but my feet are nailed to the path, in which I stand,
A dark figure arises with the shape of a man,

I dive into a sear of lies,
Filled with pleas and cries,
As I desperately fight for my life,

I see something dark, something so dark it is light,
I rise to my feet and I am faced with a deadly sin…Lust,
As I try to run, I keep saying I must,
Give in to the satisfaction of defeat
Love is what my soul needs to eat,
I must escape my feelings, the prison of betrayal and fear,
But laughter is all that I hear,
I slowly rip apart my eyelids which seem to be sewn together,
For what I am now seeing isn’t what I want to see forever,

My ears twitch as I hear the movement of chains,
My body is slowly hoisted into the air by the hooks in my tendons and neck,
As my soul is left to watch what remains,

What used to be mine’s is now gone,
One can only ask what I did wrong,
I turn to come face to face with Him,
As the room darkens and becomes grim,
This feeling…what is it, I can’t seem to shake it,

My mind tells me to face it,
Just as I am about to speak,
I awake…in my bed
Sweat in my sheets and all over my head,
Someone tell me please…what is this feeling…